All I Want for Christmas is You by Andrea Jenkins

Christmas is for family and making memories.

Putting up a tree together, decorating it.

Listening to cheerful music while sipping hot cocoa, baking pies and listening to classic Christmas music.

My Grandmother was the glue to our large family. She passed away in 2005.

Everything became different.

Just like high school clicks, my family divided.

My mother tried to continue with traditions as we all grew older and our family grew.

She also passed away in 2015.

Christmas used to be my favorite Holiday and I suppose it still is.

But it brings a lot of memories and with those memories comes the pain.

I try to stay strong for my 5 children and carry on traditions.

But it is never the same. It never will be.

The memories are blissful, yet they haunt me. Almost like another life I once lived.

I do not see any of my family now. My kids don’t know my cousin’s kids.

It is sad really. But my kids and I try to make new memories while keeping some of the old traditions.

For anyone that has lost someone so dear to you and you struggle during the holiday’s, I totally get you.

And honestly, if you are feeling down this Christmas season- reach out to me!

I would love to have someone to make new traditions with. Maybe even pen pals to have some joy on your face when you receive a Christmas card and know someone out there is thinking of you this holiday season! Someone to tell our stories to and even cry with. Because that’s okay! We have to carry on and remain positive not only for ourselves.. but our children and significant others if you have one. But you are not alone! There are so many other’s out here in the world that fake a smile and try to shed some holiday cheer despite the gaping hole in your chest.

I’ve got this. You’ve got this. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

-Andrea Jenkins

Images by Kora's Captures